KK White Mountainers' third gold

The hive (Úl) can be credited with a truly friendly setting for the needs of a card tournament; the only problem was the light, of which there was at first too much, so the results were barely visible, and then by the end of the 3rd round there wasn’t enough of it for the play itself. Smoking Cat would deserve its own pampered arena like in the days of Follow the Cat, but someone would have to be found to discover such an arena and invest in it. That said, the quality of the drinks and the rest of the service was top-notch, and the barmaids buzzed like little bees. :)

Eight elite teams entered the major tournament; the only disappointment was the absence of the star-studded Midgard and a few stars. Petra, Kerry, Jooki, Padre and Kaadya didn’t come. In the role of solo entrant, expanding the tournament to 25 players, the legendary Marge travelled in from Nepal. The referee’s baton was taken up by Zhaf, and although I make it a rule never to rate referees, here I’ll allow myself an exception. Because her referee performance was excellent. She handed out the letters together with the compassion of Lady Diana, watched every trick with focus, and had authority with the players. The tournament system ran almost perfectly and the play itself was certainly a celebration of this sport.

The tournament favourites were above all the two Czech teams, KK Bílá Hora and Royal SCC Vinohrady. Burning Cards were tipped as the dark horse, there was also faith in Dashinchilen with Kocour and Paczessa, and traditionally Animais were expected to shuffle the deck, as well. Those named were rounded out by San Diego Padres, Majesty Crown and Black Dogs Ghana.

The Team Championship’s topic was Our Army, in whose premises the tournament was originally meant to take place. So picking up a badge with one of our-your heroes turned out to be a kind of promotion, or a decoration. Or both.

Private ŠVEJK

The author of the term Švejk News, the Mongolian queen Paczessa, came in for the edge of the Word of the said badge theme second, already in the 14th game, together with Mokele Mbembe, who also turned it into the badge in the next game, with Paczessa following him in the 17th game. Even faster were Lady Sansar and Zamunda, and Sir Diamond, Badu and Fenho also became Švejks. So the very 1st round fairly clearly separated out the unsuccessful—Black Dogs, Dashinchilen and Majestic Crown slid down the standings. On the other, more positive side of the results spectrum, Glide shone at 91.67%, and Cdr Riker, Auntie Cat, Anjelik, Sir Ludwig and Havlas also played significantly over 80%.

Corporal Kouba

Langoš in Sparta’s colours. Try prompting it into an AI and send it to the Smoking Cat Elite group; it’ll probably make you something else than the real 2nd-round badge theme.

The fastest to finish was table no. 1, where it was all done after just 16 games. The very fastest to become a Kouba was Fedazz, after just 11 games at a 44.44% success rate. He was followed by Sir Diamond, Auntie Cat, Havlas, Fenho, Sir Ludwig, Zia Mahmood, Lady Sansar, Mokele Mbembe and Cdr Riker.

Glide, on the other hand, played another incredible round (92.86%), but Paczessa and Kechup were also over 92%! Significantly over 80% were Schrott, Zamunda, Siisa, Blanche, Anjelik and Terra. KK Bílá Hora dominated the standings, and just a single round remained, one that could change the scenario from last year, when Jooki, Anjelik and Kechup ruled the Sokolovna Únětice arena.

Lieutenant Colonel MALÍK

It was as if the character of Lieutenant Colonel Malík had already entered Fenho during the 3rd round; with nothing left to lean on, he gradually sought out a figure to prop himself up against or to embrace, wherever he could. He finished the round after 8 games on a tally of 28.57%. In various sports the participation of Russian players is being debated; here it will be above all a question for the captain of Dashinchilen. The aliquot-singing concerts during the final were on the edge of tolerability for players and spectators alike. Paradoxically, this Eddie Edwards of Smoking Cat ended up carrying away from the tournament, besides a complete badge collection, also the consolation prize—chocolate spoons, a coffee cup, and on top of that even a paid bill and 1 point. Incredible. These are the stories of Smoking Cat.

Further decorated were the complete line-up of Majestic Crown, after a brilliant 2nd round again Paczessa, Badu and Zamunda of Dogs, Auntie Cat and Ruprecht of Padres, and Siisa.

The only one in the whole tournament to score 100% in the 3rd round was Kechup. Remarkable above all, though, is Glide’s 93.33%, matched in this round at least by Schrott. In the end the duel between Schrott and Glide was decisive for the result of the whole tournament. Cdr Riker also got over 92%.

General KOTLÁR

The expected brisk pace, kept in check by the system, and the potential in-game penalties allowed the organisers to stretch the Final Word to 6 letters.

The final six looked as follows: 3x KK Bílá Hora (C Anjelik, E Kechup, F Glide), 1× player of Animais (A Terra), one representative of San Diego (B Cdr Riker) and Vinohrady’s Schrott on position D.

So it looked as though KK Bílá Hora were heading for a clear-cut defence of last year’s dream run, when they too in a trio ruled the final and dealt out all the letters. But this year the final began to unfold against expectations. The chance wasn’t great: Schrott needed to beat all three White Mountain’s players in the final, and as quickly as possible, and on top of that finish two places better than their best player. Yes, a really small chance. But the first to finish, with General Kotlár, was Anjelik, who thus became General Pavel. Just 2 games later Kechup followed him too, and the drama was set. Schrott versus Glide. That was the plot now to be decided. But the very next game was lost by Schrott who found himself on the edge of the Word (E!). Even so the situation stayed open. For Vinohrady gold, though, it was necessary to beat Glide so as to give him a letter, and on top of that Schrott on the edge of the Word needed yet to beat another player. Terra and Cdr Riker were still battling for a medal, too—the bronze one. Schrott managed it, and Terra ended up on the edge of the Word. He even managed to tack on 2 letters each for Glide and Cdr Riker, but in the 31st game he finally capitulated and set the medal order.

The best player of the tournament, as well-deserved, was Glide, who had a fantastic evening. Even in the final he played over 82% and as the best player of the tournament finished with an overall score of 89.06%, which is the best performance at a Team Championship since 2022, when Ruprecht had half a percent more.

Gold therefore goes to the defending KK Bílá Hora for a sum of placements of 6; alongside PaulReich, the silver medals went to Royal SCC Vinohrady (sum 11), and the trio of Animais de Sintra hung bronze around their necks.

Paradoxically, the tournament results were reflected in the standings in such a way that Royal Vinohrady moved to the head of the battle for the JokeRiders Cup ahead of the previously leading White Mounatiners, and Schrott moved to the top of the player standings, followed by Havlas. Glide is already sharing the season’s 3rd place.

The quality of play was fantastic. The post-tournament party was a success. It’s just a shame that not even a group photo of the players could be taken, because some were again rushing off. That stings above all with those who had a chance at the final table for their own medal honour, or had it even secured. That is utterly unsporting behaviour; I can’t imagine anyone leaving a sporting competition even though they’d be certain to step onto the podium. Not even at amateur level. Maybe somewhere in a village, where it’s probably the norm and a point of pride. In Prague, incomprehensible.

Team Championship 2026 results

Placement		Club	Points for Each Participant per Club	Placements of 2 Best Players
1		KK Bílá Hora	10	6	1. + 5.
2		Royal SCC Vinohrady	7	11	4. + 7.
3		Animais de Sintra	5	14	3. + 11.
4		San Diego Padres	3	16	2. + 14.
5		Smoking Chingiss Dashinchilen	1	23	8. + 15.
6		Burning Cards	0	26	10. + 16.
7		Majestic Crown	0	36	13. + 23.
8		Black Dogs Ghana	0	37	18. + 19.